The Mild Mannered Janitor

If Superman was real how do you think he would have coped with that burden? If you are constantly leading your life with this alter ego, this double life, would that not of stressed him out? I sometimes feel that in my job and certain aspects of my life society forces me to be someone I’m not. I find myself nodding in agreement to subjects which I actually feel strongly against. Doing work that I don’t think will work or add any value to what’s already been created. Just like Superman does this mean I have an alter ego? When I enter the door at work, or join my colleagues in the pub after work do I become Rob the mild mannered janitor? I wonder what would happen if I did everything by instinct rather than giving myself time to analyse a situation and behave with what is perceived as the correct thing to do or say? More to the point what actually stops me from doing and saying what I really want? I think it’s something that’s embedded into your brain almost like a microchip. It’s the part that tells the difference between right and wrong and those without it are either truly free or criminally insane. I’d like to cut it out of my brain, just for a day and see what happens.

Choose your attitude

Is there any truth in the notion that you choose your own attitude? I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and our fate is almost planned out for us. One of the variable aspects to our life according people who are paid to much money to advise you on these subjects say the attitude you take into a day is up to you. The way I interpret this thinking is like this: The alarm goes off at 6.30, you’ve looked outside and it lashing it down, already you know the conservatory would of leaked during the night leaving puddles on the laminate. You walk downstairs and the missus has come in late after a session on the sauce and walked dogshit all over the new carpet in the lounge. You make yourself some toast but there is none out so you have to defrost some, in the process you burn your finger on the element, on the face of it not that bad but you realise it will impair your wiping ability when taking a kind Charles the third. After cleaning up the shit, nursing your finger and throwing down some juice and partially burnt toast you leave for work knowing your gonna be late but the boss wanted you to be in on time as you have a 9am meeting. Now at this point do you a: drive like a maniac swear at every bit of slowing moving traffic setting yourself up for a day of hell, or b: say ok, I wouldn’t choose this circumstance of events but they have happened and I’ll just go about my day from here in a positive manner. For me it’s A every time but just recently I’ve tried to change my attitude towards this kind of thing and surprisingly I’m doing quite well. Stopped the pills and I’ll see how far this wave will take me.

Respect

Over the weekend the UK remembered those lost in battle during the first and second world war with armistice day. Nowadays with the current climate of world affairs we also remember those lost in battles in more recent times. I strongly follow this remembrance and always no matter where I am or what I’m doing stop to observe the two minutes silence. This year I happened to be sitting in the hair dressers and I made a point of saying when I sat down that we were to stop what we were doing at 11’oclock and pause for silence, Hayley my fanatic trimmer gladly agreed. To my surprise and somewhat disappointment after we paused the junior hair dresser, who could not have been more than 17 had to ask why we’d observed the silence and what it was for! Is this the future of our nation? Do teenagers really understand what Armistice Day is?

On Sunday I was tuned in to Sky TV to watch the football game between Reading and Tottenham. I watched as the players and crowd observed a minutes silence before kick off but again to my disgust the camera panned across to show two young boys larking around and smiling during the silence. Call me old fashioned but it should be obligatory to observe this moment in the correct manor. Men and women of yester year gave the ultimate sacrifice of their lives for us to enjoy the freedom we do today. I hope this isn’t an indication of what will become the norm for the future generation. It’s important we remember how our great nation became so great.

For The Fallen
With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
England mourns for her dead across the sea.
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.
Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
There is music in the midst of desolation
And a glory that shines upon our tears.
They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
They fell with their faces to the foe.
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years contemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.
They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
They sleep beyond England's foam.
But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
As the stars are known to the Night;
As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain;
As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
To the end, to the end, they remain.

Money For Nothing

Can money really buy happiness? If you look at a lot of the most famous people in the world they are often troubled wee souls. Robbie Williams, George Michael, Michael(shamow)Jackson and Tom Chaplin to name a few. They have pot less amounts of cash and yet it doesn’t seem to be enough. My answer to there demise lies in them seeking to re create the seemingly infinite rush they get from having a crowd eating from there grubby palms via the medium of music. When they are not performing the mundane aspect to normal life just isn’t enough for them so they try to fill that void with the help of narcotics. Now in moderation anything is harmless, don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to condone drink and drugs but what a boring world it would be without them. I’d like suggest that most of those people have an obsessive nature, I’m one for sure, I constantly seek perfection but for these people it takes that high to another level. Given these circumstances will we ever be satisfied? Can money really buy everything, does everything really have a price – Demi Moore had one. Some things are seemingly not for sale – I’ll can name one, Love and contentment, ok that’s two but neither is for sale.

Baby depression

How old do you have to be before you can suffer from depression? According to a news article today you only have to be four. The unnamed source (follow the link and you will see) have posted an article saying ‘girl of four suffering with depression’. Cut a long story short, she aint a well girl and the Doc’s put it down to her not being able to attend the same school as her nursery pals. At four I doubt you really know what depression is or what it means but I like to bet it has some detrimental effect on her state of mind in later life. She will probably be a very ‘needy’ girl, someone who can’t stand her own company and hates to be on her own. My facts are based on nothing more than speculation so don’t quote me on it. I personally need to be around my friends and loved ones, I’m shit on my own, my mind has me thinking all kinds of stupid things and I end up in a right state sometimes. Then again don’t we all want to be around friends and loved ones? Maybe not the tyrants of this world, they tend to want bombs around them.

I wonder, what is the difference between depression and stress? That’s another debate.

As a stress head myself I can probably look back to my childhood for some answers, just like the four year old may do. At least she has a whole news article to draw on for answers – the internet as a tool for therapy? – Welcome to my blog and my meandering thoughts! My quest for answers lead me to hazy memories of my dad constantly throwing my school bag and shoes down the bottom of the garden after telling me to ‘put them away’ three times. This would suggest reason to my obsessive cleanliness tendencies. What about the other 20 I have? I’m back to my ancestral trail story again right?

Sterrys everywhere

In a vain attempt to bring some kind of meaning to my existence on this god forsaken planet I have followed a lead from my sister pointing me in the direction of website dedicated to the Sterry name: http://www.zipworld.com.au/~rsterry/gen/ Ok given, it’s not the most useable and aesthetic site you’ve ever seen but it’s jam packed with information on fellow Sterry’s. Whilst surfing this site I found amongst other things the Sterry Coat of arms. Now I’m no historian and I can only draw on what I’ve read but what where they on?! Some of that profound Latin bumf makes no sense what so ever. Apparently the Sterry motto is ‘Pro rege et patria’ which roughly translates to ‘For I was ruling the fatherland’ – well that’s my take on it, specifically for any Latin geeks out there it converts to ‘For I was ruling and fatherland’. Typical Sterry more than likely written whilst under the influence as it’s rubbish. I would of said a more appropriate motto would be, to quote if I may from a personal legend of my own ‘We’ve spent a fortune on booze women and gambling, the rest we wasted.’ I digress….

So it’s on this site I stumble across the site editor – a fellow Robert Sterry who lives in NSW Australia. What a coincidence I say, and I’ve been to Australia! In hindsight not at all really, I’m on a Sterry site full of Sterry’s not that odd to see it’s been pulled together by someone sharing the same Christian name. The fact that he lives in Australia is nothing more than probability, there are Sterry’s all over the world.

So anyway I figure it’s too good an opportunity to miss and emailed him. I hoped he was cool, witty, and damn good looking; truth is I you cant tell a thing about people from email. This electronic letter society we name email gives nothing away. They can often seem cold and their easily misinterpreted. In this circumstance though you cant blame him, I could be anyone. I could be some fake trying to clone Robert Sterry’s and rip them off figuring this was a good place to start for info. With this in mind I thought it would be weeks before I received a reply, if at all. So you can understand my surprise and joy when in no less than two minutes he has replied;

Well, this is the very first time I’ve been contacted by a Rob Sterry. So you’re from the Lowestoft Sterrys? I was in Lowestoft in 2001 and walked along the seawall to the Sparrow’s Nest with a very sprightly 75 year old local Sterry, who had recently had done two hips operations. Hardy lot you Lowestoftian Sterrys!
Very happy to see where you fit in.
Best, Robert.

This Correspondence continued with two more emails with me pointing out how odd it was to be emailing my namesake across the other side of the world. We shared Sterry facts almost in a jousting manor, passing each other in the virtual world, as we did dropping in Sterry belters to show we meant business and knew our stuff. He knocked me right off my horse when he told me my Grandmothers name, including her middle name which I didn’t even know! What a blow that was – to use this fighting analogy I’ve started it was a haymaker from down town which blew me away, he knew his shit, and Sterry shit at that.

I’m hoping my namesake can bring some light to my ancestral trail, may be I can work out why I’m like I am, where I get my traits from. Who’s responsible for this mixed up complicated head I carry around on my body? I’d like to have a chat with them, hypothetically speaking of course. I’d probably ask how or if he ever reached true happiness. I’m still looking, I think? Not sure I’ll ever find those answers – who has? For now I’ll seek refuge from the bottom of the bottle, just like those Sterry’s before me. Just kidding.

Sterry coat of arms

UDI

Have you ever stopped to consider how much of your life you loose to alcohol induced blackouts? For some it's a foreign concept and something they only experience themselves may be once in a year but for me it's a regular occurrence. It's usually coupled with a UDI (unidentifiable drinking injury) this time in the form of a bruised knuckle, I tell ya I taught my front door a lesson it won’t forget..im informed.

If you imagine you spend on average 8 days of your life in queues I'd like to hedge a bet I've lost a similar amount of my life to these blackouts.

Frank Sinatra once said 'I feel sorry for people that don’t drink, when they wake up in the morning that's as good as they will feel all day' but then I ask myself the question, is the amount of 'good time' on alcohol proportionate to the amount of 'bad time' that comes with the inevitable hangover? I doubt it, yet I still do this to myself every week.